The Sun

I love the sun.  I love the heat of the rays on my skin and on my face.  Plus it just makes the whole world brighter and my mood better.  It has been so cold, wet, and the sun has been hiding behind the clouds way too much lately.  I was so grateful for the sun that came out today.  Rose and James were excited too.  They wanted to go out and play in the melting snow.  Here are the pictures I captured of them.

I posted a while ago that I am trying to break down the wall around my heart.  I have disconnected with my children ever since Rose was diagnosed.  I don't know if it is because I am afraid of losing them or if it is because I have to hurt Rose in order for her to live.  I don't know, but today is the first time in a long time that I feel like I am engaging with my children and beginning to feel that connection to them again.  I love them and I am so proud of the children that they are.  

 We have to prick Rose's fingers about every four hours to check her Blood glucose.  Lately I have been noticing that her little tiny fingers have so many scars on them.  My Mom (Who is a diabetic, too) says that you even loose sensation on your finger tips when you prick them.  I hope that Rose won't loose all of her sensation in her finger tips.  Hopefully one day they can come up with a better way to test BG, that don't involve pricking these beautiful little hands.  The white thing in Rose's hands is a rock that she believes is going to hatch into something.  I haven't told her yet that it won't because I love her imagination, and who needs to squash her hopes when she is only three.  Someday she will learn that rocks don't hatch, but today she will be a child and believe.  She has been carrying it around since she found it and keeps asking when it will hatch. We have warmed it up and even made a nest for it.