Our Diagnosis

It was Tuesday, August 6th, 2013 when we found out that Rose was diabetic. Our diagnosis story really begins on Saturday, August 3rd.  We went to the local water park to play with cousins and enjoy the warm weather.  I didn't think much of it at the time but looking back I should have recognized some of the symptoms Rose kept telling me. All day at the water park Rose told me she was thirsty and had to go to the bathroom. I just figured that it had something to do with being in the sun and swimming for a long period of time.  It was a pretty normal day.  That night we had family pictures.  Rose was pretty good, except for a couple tantrums. But she had always thrown tantrums so I figured it was normal plus she was exhausted from swimming earlier that day. I first became suspicious of something being wrong with Rose on Saturday night, she wet the bed 4 times.  Rose had been potty trained since she was twenty months and yes she wet the bed every once in a while but 4 times in one night! She had never done that before.  We went to church on Sunday morning and took Princess to nursery.  During her two hour stay in nursery they had to come get us twice because she said she had to go to the bathroom but couldn't go and she kept telling us that she was thirsty ALL of the time .  We would give her something to drink and it would never satisfy her.  Sunday night, we had dinner with my family.  I remember discussing with my family what could be wrong and if I should be concerned with Rose's behavior.  I remember specifically telling my family that I was worried that she might be diabetic.  (I know now it was my Heavenly Father trying to prepare me for this trial.)  We went home, Emma wet the bed 2 times that night. We had a full day planned with hanging out with my sister who had flown in from out of town.  Rose did the same thing she had done the two previous days, complained of always being thirsty and having a hard time peeing.  Monday night, Rose didn't wet the bed but on Tuesday morning she said it hurt to pee.  I called the doctor and set up an appointment with our pediatrician at 10:00 AM.

I took the Prince and Princess to the pediatrician.  When we arrived they asked if I could catch some of Rose's urine.  Rose was so great and went to the bathroom right away.  As we waited for the nurse to come back and tell us if Rose tested positive for a Urinary Tract infection, I once again felt like Rose might have something more serious than just an infection.  The on call doctor came in and said that the urine test came back negative for an infection but there was sugar in the urine.  She then asked if she could test Rose's Blood Glucose. My Mother is a Type 2 diabetic so I knew the process.  I don't know how I did it, now looking back, but some how I was able to hold Princess Rose still enough to test her blood.  She was at 535. (If you don't know, the average blood glucose is usually between 80 to 120.)  I remember the look on the doctor's face as she told me that Rose was a type 1 diabetic and that we needed to go to the Downtown Hospital as soon as possible.  She asked what she could do to help me and I told her I just needed to call my husband and my mom.  The doctor stepped out of the exam room and I called my husband and my mom.  I remember my kids being so quiet and letting me make the phone calls that I needed to make.  (Which is so not like them.)  I know that there were angels round about me helping me with my kids and helping me deal with this devastating news.

We rushed down to the hospital and I met my husband in the parking garage.  We checked into the Children's Hospital and we began the long process of getting an IV into Rose.  Luckily my parents had arrived to take Prince James for a walk, so we could put all of our attention on Rose.  Even now almost four months later, I struggle talking about this part.  It was horrible.  I can't even begin to tell you how hard it was to try and get Rose to let us put an IV in her arm.  We tried three times with no luck and then finally after wrapping her up like a burrito, in a blanket, we were finally able to hold her still enough.  It took us two hours to do it.  Every person in the room was exhausted of trying to hold Rose down.  She is one very strong girl and man does she have a temper.  Rose had no idea why we were trying to hurt her and she kept begging us not to hurt her.  Words can never express how horrible I felt.  I wanted to rescue her from the pain but I couldn't.  I was so torn.  I tried really hard to hold it together when I was in the room with her but I remember loosing it several times.  I would excuse myself and cry in the hallway.  I didn't know how I was going to care for my baby and then the reality hit me, Rose was never going to be able to go a day with out being poked.  One of my biggest fears has always been needles and here I was forcing my child to overcome her fear of needles.  It was heart breaking for me.

One of the first emotions that I felt, was guilt.  I felt responsible for her being diagnosed with diabetes.  I felt responsible because I had made her body. Maybe if I had done something different during my pregnancy  I would have been able to prevent her diabetes.  It was so hard not to blame myself for her disease, but the reality is I couldn't have done anything to change her diagnosis.  This is her trail that she will always have to bear and it is all part of Heavenly Father's plan for us.  I had to trust that and let go of the guilt I felt.

When we finally got the IV in Rose, we settled into the hospital.  We would be there for the next several days learning how take care of Rose.  The hospital stay was exhausting.  The people at the hospital were great and we had so many family and friends come visit Rose.  It was wonderful to be surrounded by such wonderful people.  But it was also very overwhelming.  All of the new information, constantly checking Rose's BG, giving her insulin shots, counting carbs, and trying to keep it all together so Rose would not get scared. It was a whirlwind of a week and we were so glad to make it home.