Faith to be healed...

Watching Rose's faith and testimony grow these last couple of months has been amazing.  I know I have posted before but Rose always prayers that Heavenly Father will take away her diabetes.  It breaks my heart hearing her always pray for that because the natural part of me knows that it is impossible.  But then I want more than anything for her to be healed from her diabetes.  There are miracles every day so why can't she be healed.

Then I was talking to my sister and she stated that I needed to have faith that Rose can be healed too.  If we both have faith that Heavenly Father can take away this disease than we will witness miracles.  My sister also said that the faith we have that Rose to be healed could manifest itself not just in her diabetes being taken away but that our burdens will be made lighter.  Can I just say that I have witnessed that.  Yes, Rose has diabetes but she is never to low and she is never really high.  She almost never has keytones.  The more I talk to other families that have children with T1D, the more I realize how blessed we are.   Heavenly Father has not healed Rose but he has eased our burdens.  So today I want to say that I do believe that Heavenly Father will heal my child.  He has all power and He has protected Rose from experiencing the worst part of diabetes.  I found this amazing quote from Richard G. Scott's General Conference talk in 1994 "To Be healed."

“Oh, how we all need the healing the Redeemer can provide. Mine is a message of hope for you who yearn for relief from heavy burdens that have come through no conscious act of your own while you have lived a worthy life. It is based on principles embodied in the teachings of the Savior. Your challenge may be a serious physical disability, a struggle with lingering illness, or a daily wrestle with a life-threatening disease. It may have roots in the death of a loved one, the anguish caused by another bound by sin, or come from abuse in any of its evil forms. Whatever the cause, I testify that lasting relief is available on conditions established by the Lord.

Help from the Lord always follows eternal law. The better you understand that law, the easier it is to receive His help. Some of the principles upon which His healing is predicated follow.

It is important to understand that His healing can mean being cured, or having your burdens eased, or even coming to realize that it is worth it to endure to the end patiently, for God needs brave sons and daughters who are willing to be polished when in His wisdom that is His will.”

Rose has taught me so much since her diagnoses.  She is brave and resilient.  She is faithful and you can see her pure believe that Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ are alive and know her by name.  They know of her circumstance, love her, and care for her on a daily basis.  I hope she never loses her faith to be healed.  We have witnessed miracles in our time of trial and firmly believe that there is a reason for Rose having Diabetes.  

Re-dedicating Myself

I think that sometime I forget how bad Rose's life could be if we don't keep on top of her disease.  We go through our everyday routine and sometimes decide that Rose deserves a break form her diabetes.  We give her a cookie or cake with insulin and hope for the best.  I try not to do it everyday but sometimes I feel so bad about being so strict with her.  So, I ease up on our food diet and then I come across the complications of what can happen to type one diabetics who do not take care of them selves. It re-dedicates me to be be better because in the long run missing a cookie or a piece of cake is not a big deal compared to the complications.

Diabetes is a disease that will kill Rose.  It is so hard to say that out loud.  Just the thought of my child dying from a disease, makes me sick to my stomach. So here is the cold hard truth about diabetes and insulin. Giving her insulin only allows her to stay alive but it is not a cure.  It does not prevent the development of serious complications either.  According to JDRF's website...

" High blood sugar levels eventually damage blood vessels, nerves, and organ systems in the body. Among the potential complications of type 1 diabetes are:

Cardiovascular disease

Cardiovascular disease, a range of blood vessel system diseases that includes both stroke and heart attack, is the major cause of death in people with diabetes. The two most common types of cardiovascular disease are coronary heart disease, caused by fatty deposits in the arteries that feed the heart, and hypertension, or high blood pressure. Research shows that people with diabetes are more likely to have high cholesterol and hypertension, both of which cause damage to the cells lining the artery walls. Researchers think high blood glucose contributes to both of these conditions.

Hypoglycemia

Hypoglycemia, low blood sugar, is a dangerous condition for people with diabetes. It can be triggered by not eating often enough, eating too little food, too much physical activity without eating, or too much insulin. People with diabetes can usually tell when their blood sugar is low. But the more episodes of hypoglycemia you have, the harder it gets for your body to detect the next episode. In severe forms, hypoglycemia can lead to unconsciousness or even death. For patients with type 1 diabetes, fear of hypoglycemia is a major obstacle to maintaining tight blood glucose control.

Nephropathy

Diabetic kidney disease, also known as diabetic nephropathy, is one of the most common and most devastating complications of diabetes. It is a slow deterioration of the kidneys and kidney function which, in severe cases, can eventually result in kidney failure, also known as end-stage renal disease, or ESRD. About one third of people with type 1 diabetes develop nephropathy.

Neuropathy

Neuropathy, or nerve damage, affects more than 60 percent of people with type 1 diabetes. The impact of nerve damage can range from slight inconvenience to major disability and even death. Diabetic neuropathy leads to loss of feeling and sometimes pain and weakness in the feet, legs, hands, and arms, and is the most common cause of amputations not caused by accident in the United States. In one type of neuropathy, known as autonomic neuropathy, high glucose levels injure the autonomic nervous system, which controls bodily functions such as breathing, circulation, urination, sexual function, temperature regulation, and digestion. Autonomic neuropathy may result in various types of digestive problems, diarrhea, erectile dysfunction, a rapid heartbeat, and low blood pressure.

Retinopathy

Diabetic retinopathy is the most common and serious eye-related complication of diabetes. It is a progressive disease that destroys small blood vessels in the retina, eventually causing vision problems. In its most advanced form (known as “proliferative retinopathy”) it can cause blindness. Nearly all people with type 1 diabetes show some symptoms of diabetic retinopathy, usually after about 20 years of living with diabetes; approximately 20 to 30 percent of them develop the advanced form."

 We changed out Rose's insertion again tonight.  She is getting better at it.  She still really dislikes it but she doesn't cry as bad afterward, which is nice.  We have found that if we give her, her binkie than it hurts less.  Yes she is three and a half and still has a binkie but there have been many times lately that I have been so grateful for the peace and comfort she finds from it.  I took a picture of Rose's battle wounds today.  Her poor little tummy. It has so many scars from all of the insertions and also the needles.  Rose has been loving having Uncle Bryce in town.  Right now she is stuck in between Bryce and Daddy and she is loving it.

Medical Costs

I am so sorry to complain again but seriously this is just ridiculous how expensive it is for diabetic supplies. We are going on three months with the pump so it is time to re-order our supplies.  I called our mail order companies to try and figure out prices before they shipped.  $1457.00.  Yep that is right.  That is a three month supply of medical supplies for Rose.  That is $5,800.00 a year.  I am pretty sure I could buy myself a pretty cool mini van (Can you tell I am a mom?) and a new house with that yearly cost.  I just can't believe how expensive it is.  Don't people realize that if we do not purchase these items Rose will not life.  So why is it so darn expensive.  Oh and I didn't even include how much money we spend on our Insurance every year too.  Just plain ridiculous.

But I guess in the long run the money isn't what matters and we will take care of Rose as best we can.  But I still like to complain.  Sorry.  Anyways...We have been doing a whole lot of nothing but somehow I am still busy all day long.  I need to better prioritize my time better so I can actually blog more than once a week and also keep up on other important things.

We are super excited though to have Uncle Bryce coming into town this weekend.  He is my husbands brother. My kids love Uncle Bryce.  And who wouldn't.  He is the best Uncle anyone could ask for.  I could really embarrass him by posting that he is looking for a wife,  but I won't (Oh wait I think I just did.Ooops).  We will be hanging out with him all weekend and trying to not think about how much money we are going to be spending on Monday, to buy more diabetic supplies.  (Ignorance is Bliss, Right?)

Are we done yet?

 I swear we have been sick with the cold and stomach flu since after Thanksgiving.  James has had it the worst.  He had the stupid stomach flu for 9 days.  Yep that is right nine days of changing disgusting diapers and cleaning up throw up.  We are current;y still fighting a cold in James's eye.  It is disgusting as you can see from the picture above.  He looks so rough and I don't know how to help out his immune system fight off all of these sicknesses.  He is all skin and bones now.  The poor thing lost 4 pounds which makes me really worried that their is a bigger problem going on.  I have a hard time admitting it, but sometimes I worry that he will be diabetic too. To have one child that is diabetic is one thing but to have another emotionally would kill me.  Physically it wouldn't be a big deal because once you live a type 1 diabetic lifestyle adding one more wouldn't be a big deal.  I need to go get him tested but I am truly afraid of the results. So I struggle with trying to decide if it is better to be ignorant or to know the truth.  The one thing I am truly grateful for is that Rose has been able to stay relatively healthy through all of this so we haven't had to deal to much with her diabetes stuff.  It is weird that now it has just become part of life and I can barely remember what it was like before.

While we have been recuperating from our two month long sicknesses, we have tried to keep the kids at home.  They get so bored so we have come up with some pretty creative activities to keep them entertained in our small apartment, with no back yard. The picture above is our hot lava obstacle course.  James and Rose loved the fort that they could rest in before they continued on their journey.   

 Please, please, tell me we are done being sick  I am getting tired of this small apartment and my kids are driving me crazy.  I am sorry I always complain on this blog but I want to be honest about what we go through.  I want to keep a record for Rose and I hope that this blog will help other people who are struggling with Type 1 Diabetes.  So excuse my complaining.  Well hopefully we will be over getting sick soon and we can experience some freedom soon.

Testing

I hate testing Rose's Blood Glucose lately.  It is just one extra step that I sometimes just don't want to do. When I have already fixed dinner, set the table, and put out the drinks for everyone, I just want to sit down to eat.  I don't want to test Rose and then plug it into the pump how many carbs she is eating.  I just want to sit down and eat.  Oh well there is nothing that I can do about it but I wanted to complain for a minute.

We are doing okay around here.  James and I are still trying to get over our colds, but Rose is doing fantastic.  Her BG's have been a little low which means that I need to change up her basal ratings.  But that requires me to update her logs which I have also been very lazy about.

I have started to notice when Rose is high or low.  When she is high she is very naughty and mean.  When she is low she is hungry and really emotional.  I wish I knew what it felt like to have low or high Blood glucose.  I have no idea what it feels like so it makes it hard to know why Rose acts the way that she does when her BG is out of range.

On a side note, I got a new camera from my husband for Christmas.  I was so excited.  I have been taking lots of pictures and I took this one of Rose the other day that I love. It is of her in her Christmas dress that she refers to as her wedding dress.

The Sun

I love the sun.  I love the heat of the rays on my skin and on my face.  Plus it just makes the whole world brighter and my mood better.  It has been so cold, wet, and the sun has been hiding behind the clouds way too much lately.  I was so grateful for the sun that came out today.  Rose and James were excited too.  They wanted to go out and play in the melting snow.  Here are the pictures I captured of them.

I posted a while ago that I am trying to break down the wall around my heart.  I have disconnected with my children ever since Rose was diagnosed.  I don't know if it is because I am afraid of losing them or if it is because I have to hurt Rose in order for her to live.  I don't know, but today is the first time in a long time that I feel like I am engaging with my children and beginning to feel that connection to them again.  I love them and I am so proud of the children that they are.  

 We have to prick Rose's fingers about every four hours to check her Blood glucose.  Lately I have been noticing that her little tiny fingers have so many scars on them.  My Mom (Who is a diabetic, too) says that you even loose sensation on your finger tips when you prick them.  I hope that Rose won't loose all of her sensation in her finger tips.  Hopefully one day they can come up with a better way to test BG, that don't involve pricking these beautiful little hands.  The white thing in Rose's hands is a rock that she believes is going to hatch into something.  I haven't told her yet that it won't because I love her imagination, and who needs to squash her hopes when she is only three.  Someday she will learn that rocks don't hatch, but today she will be a child and believe.  She has been carrying it around since she found it and keeps asking when it will hatch. We have warmed it up and even made a nest for it.

Stomach Flu Tips

Oh where to begin...  I am so sorry that I have not been writing recently.  We have been so busy with family in town and the holidays.  Then to add to the craziness we all came down with the stomach bug.  It was our first time dealing the stomach bug and type 1 diabetes.  I was so nervous.  It is so hard to keep your BG's in the right range when you are sick.  You have to have insulin to digest your food but then if you throw the food up then you have too much insulin in your body.  So then your BG is too low.  It is a roller Coaster Ride.  Up and down.  We did fantastic though or I should say my husband rocked it.  Here are some tips that helped us when dealing with a T1D child who has the stomach bug. (Please remember that we are not doctors and this should not replace your Endocrinologist advice.)

1. Sick Room:
All of us that were sick, Rose, James, and I, camped out together in the front room with the TV.  We put down a plastic table cloth and then laid blankets over it.  We slept there.  My husband sat in the rocking chair next to us for most of the night, running Rose back and forth from the Bathroom.

2. Soda and Soda Crackers:
Rose was in heaven.  She got to drink as much soda as she could while she was sick.  It was the easiest way for us to get carbs into her and even though she throw most of it up it kept her BG above 130.  So here is how we did the soda.  After Rose throw up she would sit at our table.  She would drink about 4 oz of regular cola and then sip on some diet lemon lime soda.  She had to completely drink the cola but the lemon lime soda was completely optional.  Rose also had to eat at least three soda crackers.  Rose was still getting her basal insulin through her pump, but we did not dose her for her food or soda.  We didn't know how many carbs her body would actually digest before she would throw it up, so we just figured we would correct her if she was too high in a couple hours.

3. Keytones:
We tested Rose's keytones every time she went pee.  If her keytones were to get too high we have to increase her insulin to get rid of the keytones.  Luckily her keytones were trace and we were able to keep them that way through out the entire sickness.

4. Pro-Biotics:
We take a pro-biotic daily but when we are sick we take them twice a day.  I truly believe this helps us get over being sick faster.  So funny story. I had to take James into the pediatrician because he didn't have a wet diaper in over 18 hours.  Well they told me that there wasn't much they could do but that a pro-biotic would help him.  Thank you Doc, but we are already on Pro-biotics.

Overall the sickness for Rose lasted less than 24 hours.  James got the worst of it.  He was sick for six days.  Poor thing has lost four pounds in 3 months.  All he wanted to do was nurse.  I am so glad that I haven't stopped nursing him yet.  I always thought I would stop nursing my kiddos at one but to me, James is still a baby and I couldn't take it away from him.

We are on the mend from the stomach flu but now I have a wicked cold and Rose has pink eye. (Can you tell in the picture above?)  Yeah I don't know how we are going to not all have pink eye by the end of the week.  How do you get a three year old not to scratch her eye and then not touch anything? Plus it is one more thing I have to remind her about.  Poor Rose I am always nagging her, "Put your heels down!", "Stop chewing on your tubing!", "No, you can't eat that!", and now "Don't touch anything!".  Poor thing.